The sucking of a thousand vacuums
Trivia. The Wave. Good times are had.
Last year, my team dominated just about every week. There might have been two or three weeks during the entire school year that I went away empty-handed. I have t-shirts, hats, gloves, ear muffs, schoolbags, cooler bags, shot glasses, mugs, stickers, coasters, tattoos... basically, any swag that a beer company could smack a logo on, I own.
Then the team (variously known as Team Stickman, GI Joel, Team 12f, the Bea Arthur Experience, or the Estelle Getty Phenomenon) fell apart. We had a good run in Summerside over the summer, destroying unfortunate souls at the Heritage Pub -- and winning actual bar tabs -- and we made a few successful raids at the Churchill Arms.
This year is a rebuilding year. Actually, it's a year of "e-mailing other people who I know from outside of UPEI and telling them to come."
...but they never do. You know how much it sucks to e-mail twenty people, well in advance of the event, and the only person that shows up is the person you know the least?
In short, this is my plea. I totally went to your place / party / cottage / birthday / orgy / intervention / anniversary / wedding / funeral / court hearing. Come to trivia, you heartless bastards and bitches. All I promise you is sized extra-extra-large white t-shirts and copious amounts of beer.
Otherwise I'll have to hang out with people I don't know. (Rodney? Breck? Uh, Paul?) Or join another team, and then they'll end up winning, because I'm essentially a free-agent franchise player. The teams are even enough as they are set up (with the exception of Touched by Teddy Ruxpin -- there are so many reasons I personally hate each and every one of you bastards to the point where I want to piss and puke on you until I pass out. So, essentially, add me to a team, and the team wins. Point-blank.
Happened the last three weeks in a row.
Timeline:
3 weeks ago: Me, Lois, and Melissa. Lois has to leave early; me and Melissa end up finishing second.
2 weeks ago: Joined forces with the 'Perverted Movie Guys' for society-night trivia. Won on behalf of the English Society, narrowly defeating the Education Society (ironically headed by Steve, who does trivia at Churchill).
1 week ago: Joined the Hockey Girls team. Won easily. 28/30: the highest mark in Matt & Lennie trivia history. Also, only the second perfect round ever recorded -- the first, of course, coming from team Stickman last year.
This week: Dave, Corey, and 'some other people' who said are going to show up. I actually predict that few to none will, yet I'll still end up a drunken fool with giant t-shirts and beer aplenty by midnight.
Look for me. I'll be the guy in the checkered shirt and leather jacket who gets mocked mercilessly by Matt. I'm not hard to spot. Especially when I end up selling beer at below cost when I'm wrecked.

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